


And They Call it Guppy Love

by Daegaer



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Children, F/F, Fish, The Them - Freeform, Utter utter crack, Warrior Princesses, fishpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-06-23
Updated: 2003-06-23
Packaged: 2020-06-09 13:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: The Them watch TV.





	And They Call it Guppy Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Carmarthen's [Great Fry fic challenge](https://carmarthen.livejournal.com/14555.html)

Gabrielle knew something was wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what. For a couple of weeks Xena had been looking a bit green around the gills in the morning. She got especially snappy if Gabrielle said so. Really, it was just a figure of speech.

"Don't you think we should go to a town?" she asked after Xena threw up for half the morning, then ate ever last remaining bit of food. "Somewhere with a large temple of Asklepios?"

"Why? I'm fine," Xena said, burping gently. "It was probably just that rabbit stew from last night. Do we have anything else? I'm starving."

Gabrielle shook out the crumbs from the bag.

"Nothing - but I could go down to the river and catch you some fish?"

Xena went pale and leaped back behind the bushes. Gabrielle decided to take that as a 'no'.

It took them a week and a half to reach Corinth, travelling in easy stages and never leaving their campsites before noon. Gabrielle was getting more and more worried about Xena, but couldn't think of a way to bring the matter up. She should insist on going to a healer, she thought. Or she'd pretend she was sick and persuade Xena to accompany her. She laid her plans carefully. She'd pick at her food listlessly at dinnertime, then develop convincing cramps later and make such a song and dance of it that Xena would come up with the idea of calling the healer herself.

It all worked perfectly. Xena eyed Gabrielle shoving the food around her plate and seemed to notice something was wrong.

"Hey? Gabrielle? Are you OK?"

"I'll be all right," Gabrielle said weakly.

"Good. Are you going to eat that?" Xena said, not waiting for a reply before shovelling the food on to her own plate.

Gabrielle pursed her lips and tried a quiet moan, which was ignored. She moaned a little louder, but couldn't be heard over the sounds of Xena eating the apple pie she'd just snagged from the waitress. Finally Gabrielle just yelled.

"Ohhh!"

"Are you sure you're OK?" Xena said, looking up from her dessert.

"Maybe I'm coming down with something" Gabrielle said.

"You probably just need a rest."

Gabrielle fainted dramatically into Xena's whipped cream. She kept it up for some time, figuring Xena would call for a healer. To her surprise, Xena simply carried her off to the inn's bath house and dumped her in the hot water.

"That can't have been good for you," she said crossly, throwing her soaked clothes out. "You've been much too sick to carry me round."

"Yeah, well I knew you were faking. And I thought I'd demonstrate that I'm fine. Quit worrying."

Xena stripped off and splashed into the water, dunking Gabrielle's head and laughing as she came up spluttering. She seemed her old self, Gabrielle thought, as Xena rather vigorously washed her back. There was a strange burping noise.

"Sorry. Too much pie."

Xena burped again.

"Urgh."

Gabrielle stiffened in horror at the sound of vomiting. Her horror changed to horrified amazement as she saw the bath was now full of tiny fish, all swimming round merrily. She was sure one of them poked its little face up at her and squeaked _Mommy!_

*click*

Pepper waved the remote round indignantly as the rest of the Them wailed in disappointment.

"This is rubbish! An' it's a _girls'_ show! Why're we watchin' a _girls'_ show?"

Brian, Wensleydale and Adam swarmed over her for control of the remote, and got the TV on in time for the end of the bath scene.

"I don't see why you're all keen to see a stupid girls' show!"

"It's about female 'powerment and self ackshualisation," Adam said, never taking his eyes from the screen. "S'what my sister says."

"Rubbish. An' we've seen this one before anyway, 'cept this bit's different. Don't think she sicked up baby fish before, did she?"

The others looked at her like she'd totally missed the point. She glared at them.

"I thought it was interesting," Adam said, a bit weakly.

He surreptitiously shoved the purloined book on breeding exotic fish deeper under the cushion. He'd give it back to Greasy Johnson later.


End file.
